App Etiquette Rule no. 1: Don't Say Hello with Your Dick.

There are some rude ass people on the internet. Most of us have probably had our fair share of trolls and loud mouth bigots but I think the fact bares repeating. If you turn your attention to the apps that are supposed to help gay men connect (Grindr, Scruff, Skout, Jack'd, etc.) you'll be pleased to find a surplus of these rude people. In the last week I have been sent pictures of several unmentionables, invited to two separate orgies and had a guy offer to litteraly eat my feces. 

Knowing that these apps are designed for hookups and not dating, I realize that some of these propositions are unadvoidable and they really don't bother me. The problem is our sex lives have been diminished to the equivalent of checking out guys junk at a urinal.

On a good day you might get a guy that tells you his name before he asks you to bend over and grab your ankles but most of the time you just end up with one word, "looking? Or "into?", or a picture of a strangers tiny dick. I'm not looking for romance, well I mean I am but doubt I'll find it there, but would a little please and thank you be too much to ask before you try to get into my pants?

I think a little trip to the Emily Post school of cruising manners is in order for a certain population of app users. To save poor old Emily the trouble I've started pulling together a few rules of App Etiquette. I'll be posting new ones from time to time but I'd love to hear from some readers. If you've got something that really gets under your skin, hit me up with a comment, tweet, or email and I'll add it to the list. 

Twitter @P_Monsoon

Email patrickmonsoon@gmail.com

Rule 1. Do not send pornagraphic pictures as a greeting. 

Unless your hung like a mule, most men will not be completely awe struck by your dick. Furthermore, pressing the camera of your phone to your anus for apicture is not sexy. These are not proper greetings when trying to pick up a guy. Instead try "hello", you'll find it works with more regularity.